Parody: Woodard slams new assistant principal Perry over his “outraging” sense of humor

Hanging+from+the+door+of+Ian+Perrys+office%2C+the+infamous+whiteboard+of+dad+jokes+is+seen+by+hundreds+who+walk+through+the+Admin+halls+each+day.+Photo+taken+by+Sam+Tujague.

Hanging from the door of Ian Perry’s office, the infamous whiteboard of dad jokes is seen by hundreds who walk through the Admin halls each day. Photo taken by Sam Tujague.

All information in this article is published in good faith and intended to be humorous and satirical. The contents of this article–although sourced from real people–are purely fictional, and not meant to be confused with real incidents.

For three months, DPHS students and staff have been subjected to Ian Perry’s Whiteboard of Dad Jokes and incessant spew of distasteful humor.

Hired as assistant principal for the 2022-23 school year, Ian Perry is a new face in DPHS’s administration halls. As we reach the end of term one, talk amongst staff has grown over Perry’s “disruptive” sense of humor.

Perry became a dad three months ago, and the dad jokes began right with the new school year. Initially, many looked the other way, stating that he’s “coming off the glow of being a new father.” But despite the staff and students’ initial grace, the dad jokes grew by the day, in amount and corniness.

“Seems a little bold for somebody still learning the dad rules,” said Principal Bill Woodard, revealing that behind closed doors many have called Perry’s jokes “A vein and misguided attempt to be humorous and connect with our young teenagers.”

Dos Pueblos is the highest-performing high school in the county, leaving Perry’s jokes to be “dumbing down” the academic environment that staff has spent years cultivating and creating a rift within the administration.

“There’s a lot of sideways glances when [Ian Perry] walks into the office,” stated Woodard, calling his jokes “offensive to fathers and papas around campus.”

“I just want to set the best example that I can for my child,” Perry stated when asked his side of the story. However, despite his defense, reports suggest Perry will receive disciplinary action for this ongoing controversy.

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Headline updated: 11/3/22